Leading Introverts & Extroverts
“It was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:11-13)
In the (920) we have become known as the “friendly church” because we love people!
People matter to us because they mattered to Jesus. People mattered so much to Jesus that He died for them.
At a recent Team Meeting, I spoke on the importance of learning about people and the different types of personalities there are in the world. It makes it so much easier to lead and love people when you understand where they’re coming from!
Whether at church, at work, or at home…we are all leaders. The below information will help you be the best leader you can be!
INTROVERT VS. EXTROVERT
You are likely an extrovert if the following statements generally apply to you:
I am seen as “outgoing” or as a “people person.”
I feel comfortable in groups and like working in them.
I have a wide range of friends and know lots of people.
I sometimes jump too quickly into an activity and don’t allow enough time to think it over.
Before I start a project, I sometimes forget to stop and get clear on what I want to do and why.
You are likely an introvert if the following statements generally apply to you:
I am seen as “reflective” or “reserved.”
I feel comfortable being alone and like things I can do on my own.
I prefer to know just a few people well.
I sometimes spend too much time reflecting and don’t move into action quickly enough.
LEADING INTROVERTS & EXTROVERTS
It’s pretty easy for us to self-diagnose whether we’re an introvert or an extrovert, but as we grow in leading other people, we also need to recognize if someone else is an introvert or extrovert.
An extrovert recharges by being with people, while an introvert recharges by being alone. An extrovert will think something and then actually say it, while an introvert will think something, but never say it.
It is important to have the right people on the right teams in life, in church, at work. But no matter what type of personality, all people deserve and appreciate respect for who they are.
Recognizing and acknowledging the introverted or extroverted traits that you’ve observed is key. You may find you have defined a teammate in error. Many true introverts have learned to act like extroverts in certain situations and vice versa. Many people have felt forced to fake their personalities!
How can you tell if a group member is an introvert or an extrovert?
It’s not possible to pigeon-hole someone and label someone as “all introvert” or “all extrovert,” but there are tendencies the psychologists have identified that you can (and should) pay attention to:
an introvert makes more and sustained eye contact
an introvert will appear to think before they speaks
an introvert may disappear during breaks, or talk deeply with only one person during breaks
an introvert may seem shy around the group in the beginning, until they get to know everyone better
an introvert needs quiet time away from the group to relax and process
an extrovert will appear energized by being in the group situation
an extrovert jumps right into the conversation and thinks while they speak
an extrovert may prefer to talk with 3 or 4 people during breaks
an extrovert will interact with everyone in the group, even in the beginning, because they love to meet new people
an extrovert may enjoy additional social time with the group after the official group meeting ends
As you lead teams or people in the future, these are important things to know so you don’t get frustrated with extroverted people on your team because they gab all the time, seeking social time as they work. On the flip side, this knowledge can help you not favor the one individual who maintains eye contact and seems to be really focused and engaged…they could just be an introvert.
EFFECTIVE APPROACHES
An introvert generally prefers to ease into the day.
An extrovert would often rather meet and chat with people and start the day off running.
An introvert may not be comfortable speaking up when a general call for ideas is given. Ask them directly (possibly before the meeting) if they have suggestions.
An extrovert may want to explain every detail of his plan immediately. Acknowledge his good ideas in front of his peers without allowing his enthusiasm to hijack the meeting.
An introvert needs quiet time, even a minute or two, to collect his thoughts and reactions to a given problem or situation. Giving the entire group a few minutes to write down their ideas on their own, before sharing, can give the introvert the space they need to process.
On the other hand, the extrovert needs time to talk out loud, to process their thoughts while they’re actively communicating with others. Knowing this, you can allow the extrovert a few minutes to explain their situation: they just might find clarity — or even solve their problem themselves — simply by talking openly about it.
You can give each of these personalities a way to communicate with the entire group, possibly through a facebook group or emails to all. The extrovert will appreciate the ongoing connection to the group and the introvert can take his time to process internally, then communicate at his leisure.
Remember: the reaction you see from someone might be totally unexpected, but that’s because they have a different personality than you expected. Be on the look out for what type of personalities people have so that you can handle the situation correctly.
Being a good leader is about working with different types of people. It’s about recognizing what situations work best for them, and it’s about knowing your teammates well enough to work with them in the way that’s most effective. Being a good leader is about allowing people to be who they are.
Pastor Sonny